apinkyandthebrainhomage by KZ Rochelle (of course)
Wonky Way Lane was home to innumerable creatures. Some were constantly fighting over territory and food, like the pair of peregrine falcons who flew ominously into frame. Or the family of rabbits on the east side of the street that engaged in a bitter, broiling battle for rule of the road, until the night one east-sider fell in love at first sight with one west-sider so that the two eloped the next morning and might have never lived happily ever after if it weren’t for Tybalt. But, I digress. For we concern ourselves not with the falcons or the rabbits, the foxes or the fairies. No, our scene takes place inside one home in particular. One house on Wonky Way Lane that housed some wonky ways. That house was the lavender house with blue violet trim, the one that waved a purple COVID flag, where inside, lived K and Z, with whom we are concerned. Or, at least, for whom we are concerned. Observe, Reader, from your safe distance on the far side of the screen lest you spiral into what you discover…
The sun was sunning through the slight window high above K’s head as she brushed her teeth with her eyes closed because the sun was sunning right into her eyes and she didn’t realize it would not if she only stepped one step over to the right or the left.
“Whmf wef ui boehee, Pee?” asked K over the buzz of the electronic toothbrush inside her mouth.
“What did you call me!?” said Z, enraged by K’s name-calling so early in the morning.
K spoke again. “I faed whmf wef ui suigg boehee?”
“Would you take that blasted thing out of your mouth ere you emit another word in my presence?” demanded Z.
K pulled the toothbrush from her mouth and cleared her throat to speak. Before she said a word, Z was yelling at her.
“Turn off the toothbrush! Turn off the toothbrush!” Z’s forearm covered her face as toothpaste splattered against the vanity mirror out from which Z looked.
K pressed the button that turned off the toothbrush.
“Oopsies.” K grinned sheepishly. “Sorry, Z.”
Z removed her forearm as protection and looked at the spotted glass.
“Well,” said Z with barely veiled disgust, “you’re going to have to clean this up before we get to the plan for the day.”
“The plan?” said K. “Oh boy! Oh boy! I love the plan!” K clapped her hands together and jumped up and down, forgetting the bath towel hanging across a clothesline in the bathroom. She jumped up into it, panicked, flailed, got caught up in it, and pulled the entire thing down on herself.
“Help! Help, Z! Help! Something’s got me! And it’s stolen the sun! Help!”
Z looked straight out her mirror at Rochelle. “Can you believe this nonsense?”
A low rumble came from the walls themselves.
K’s foot kicked itself out from under the bath sheet.
“Light! I see light!”
Z rolled her eyes.
K continued her fight with the towel. Rolling, cursing, and finally, emerging, she pinned the towel beneath her knee. She shot her hands into the air. “Victory!”
“Yes, hardly won,” said Z.
“Yes! Hard won victory!” said K. K stood and grabbed the towel from the floor. She rubbed the defeated towel against Z’s face until all the spots were gone.
“I’ve healed you, Z,” said K.
“Thank you, K,” said Z, choosing which battles of language to fight with K.
“Now,” said K, dropping the towel back on the floor, “what are we going to do today, Z?”
“The same thing we do every day, K. Escape the enclosure of these four walls.”
“Mwuah ha ha ha ha ha,” rumbled from the walls and ricocheted through the room.
“Stop! Stop! Stop, Rochelle!” K stomped. She covered her ears. She stepped on the towel with one foot. And got caught under the towel with her other foot before finding her face on the floor not far from where her feet should have been.
A high-pitched squeal akin to giggling fell over and through the room.
K bounced to her feet. “I will not be mocked, Rochelle!” K shouted.
“Enough!” Z’s martinet tone draped over K and Rochelle and even the east and west side rabbits heard. “We shan’t waste the day with such shenanigans. We have plans to enact.”
“What will we be acting in today?” asked K.
“I’ll show you. Take me to the dining room!” ordered Z.
You, Reader, may want to avert your eyes to what you are about to see. But Z had no such warning. Discover what Z sees in the dining room, if you can stomach it, which you can, because you stomach K regularly already (and no this does not mean you eat or digest her….please do not do that because that would be an undesirable end to this series…but I think I was trying to tell you something relatively important to this story….Oh yes! You’ll stand strong in the dining room with K and Z) in the next installment of Days of Our Pandemic!